blog lassiter

Little by little, almost imperceptivity, life as I have known it slips away.  
You may think it a small thing, nothing of real consequence, nothing to be that troubled by – but most every day now brings something new that I can no longer do.
Each morning Mary brings up a cup of coffee for me, […]

Do you want to know the hardest part about all of this?  It has changed me – it has changed the way I live my life.
I have always been a dreamer.  I’ve always had something to shoot for.  There was always something to be had down the road.  And now there isn’t.  One by one, […]

Symptoms appear, and then go away.  My mood swings uncontrollably.  My outlook vacillates.  Such are the days of my life.
This day finds me calm and at peace – rational and in control.  But there are new concerns.  I am worried about my overall emotional state – I had not expected to fight for my sanity […]

I am without thoughts today.  The emotional turbulence of recent days has subsided.  I am utterly drained.
I have spoken before of how our roles have reversed – last night completed the task.  It came during a conversation – a painful, sad exchange.  When we were finished, it was her turn to hold me, her turn […]

I have always had many personas – I think most of us do.  Outside of my wife, no one really knows who I am.
I’ve gone through life presenting different faces for different occasions.  There are those who are convinced that I am a mean spirited bastard.  Others think of me as a shallow simpleton.  I […]

I find myself feeling increasingly isolated, as my thoughts and concerns turn inward.  Convinced – right or wrong – that I am now measuring my life in terms of weeks, months at best, a sense of panic and paralysis is setting in.  I feel compelled to tie up loose ends, and yet afraid that I […]

Oxyconton is a remarkable drug.  It provides pain relief for up to twelve hours at a time.  I’ve had a prescription to use as needed for quite a while – perhaps one or two days a month.  I’ve never abused it – that is until now.
In addition to alleviating pain, the synthetic morphine can also alter ones mental […]

There is no good news to report.
I have developed open sores on my groin, expelling a foul discharge as my body apparently tries to rid itself of toxins.  I simply do not know what to make of it.
Overall, my condition is poor.  I am experiencing a loss of strength, and continue to be on an […]

We had been together less then a week – in fact, I had not even moved in yet – when I thought that I had an offer of a job in Detroit.  I asked her to go with me – without hesitation, she said yes.  I told her that all I could offer was a […]

Hello world – I’m still here…
I thought I had been on an emotional ups and downs before in my life – but that was a walk in the park compared to this.  Overwhelming waves of worry and sadness come out of nowhere – only to be followed by emptiness.  The cycle repeats – I try […]