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22nd 2005f September, 2005

…go away, kid.

Posted by Lassiter in Uncategorized at 10:01 am | Permanent Link

I’ve told this story before, but it plays such a significant part in my life, that it’s worth repeating…

Unlike many people, I can identify turning points in my life to the exact moment in time that they occurred. The first such “turning point” came on a chilly Spring morning in 1958 -  the second Saturday in April, it was overcast, and windy, but it was a day that almost every boy in my hometown had been looking forward to for many months. It was Little League tryout day.

I was 12 years old that year, fat, and very unauthentic. But I loved baseball, and it was my last year of eligibility. I wanted nothing more than to be part of a team – to play baseball on a real field, with real uniforms, and real “fans” in the stands cheering us on. My hometown league was divided into two divisions – Majors and Minors. And on this particular morning the hopefuls were to be given a test, a simple test to let the “coaches” decide which division a boy would be assigned to play in. The test was nothing more than one of the men throwing a ball high into the air, and seeing how the would be player handled the simulated “pop-fly”. Each boy had two chances. Both times as the ball sailed high into the air, I lost sight of it in the overcast sky, and the ball dropped to the ground.

They assigned me to a Minor League team – Colls Camera, coached by Mr. Simpson. I was disappointed that I had not made the Majors, but not much. I was going to be part of the team, and that’s all that really mattered.

Fat kids in Little League almost always end up being the catcher, and I was no exception. Every night, after supper, we had a practice session. I was in my glory – it was everything I had ever dreamed it would be. I had never participated in any organized sport before, and to be honest, my skill level left much to be desired.

At long last the season was to begin – there was one final practice, and on that night Mr. Simpson would hand out our uniforms and hats. The anticipation was more than a boy could handle, so I showed up even earlier then usual. At long last Mr. Simpson showed up, and we could see the big cardboard boxes in the back of his 1955 Ford station wagon – boxes holding the coveted uniforms and hats. The symbols that proved to all the world that a boy, this boy, belonged to the team.

But there was something else in Mr., Simpson’s vehicle that night – it was a young boy, about twelve years old, a stranger none of us had ever seen before. Coach Simpson got out, but the stranger remained behind. It was then that he called me aside – no doubt for a special strategy meeting, right? Wrong. He told me that I just wasn’t really good enough to play, and that he had found this other kid who was going to replace me. He also asked that I leave the practice field, so as not to be a distraction.

I did as he asked, got on my bike, and with the sounds of my former team mates laughing and gathering around Mr. Simpson to get their uniforms and hats, I began the trip back home. It was during the long lonely ride – the long lonely bitter ride home, filled with shame and despair that I vowed to never again be a “team player”. Life had taught me a lesson, and the events that had transpired during the Spring of 1958 changed me forever. That was more then 48 years ago, but I can remember that night as though it just happened. The memories are no less bitter, no less painful…


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