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About Me

You don’t understand, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

This is the year I’ve long dreaded, the year when I turned - and it kills me to say this -  – the BIG Six-Oh. Sixty fucking years old.

How can this be? Grandfathers are sixty years old, not people like me. I was going to be young forever – all the kids I grew up with were. But now there is no denying the reality, the inevitable.

Does it bother me? What do you think? Sure it does. The list of things that I can no longer do grows every day. The accomplishments that will never be accomplished, the dreams that will not come true, weigh on me, torment me.

I am starting to run out of time, and it saddens me

Wasn’t it just yesterday that my entire life was in front of me? Surely it couldn’t have been more than a year or two ago. How did the time manage to pass so quickly? I know that I am not the first man to experience these feelings, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

It’s not just the milestone, but the fact that I am far older than my years. That, of course, is my doing. I was never one to “take care” of myself, and when I was told that I had a life-threatening disease, I ignored the warnings.

I tell you this not so that you might feel sorry for me, but so that you might better understand the entries that will follow…